A final indulgance (in which I make my pledge)

So today I endulged my last - well, for a while anyway. For 30 days. Because for the duration of Ramadan I am:

• Foregoing the sweet treats that have been a near-daily occurrence recently.
• Abstaining from Cola and it's shady relatives (with the exception of a rare lemonade that helps when I have indigestion).
• Undergoing a liquid-only fast each Friday (from Fajir to Iftar).
• Increasing this fast during the final 10 days (my aim is to liquid-fast on the odd numbered days). I understand this to be Laylat al-Qadr, but last year a friend explained the significance as being an emphasis on the spiritual and on forgiveness.
• Going to make visits to places of worship, break my mosque fear (more on that later), the local Gurdwara, my favourite Krishna temple, and more.
  

So why is it that a non-muslim would want to be doing this when there is no pressure or expectation from anyone for her to do this? Why, I could still be spiritual without the fasting. Could still explore culture without having to refuse that carrot cake. But so could anyone, at any time.
And sometimes the time is now.
Why wait for the water to be at the right level, before you jump in and flow with the current?

(Ok, please forgive my reference in light of the devestation in Pakistan, it was the best way I could find to illustrate what I'm trying to put across, and with thoughts of mighty and holy rivers such as the Jamuna and Ganges in mind, it felt apt).

For my last indulgence I lingered in Costa with a large cup of tea, and a slice of their moist yummy carrot cake that seemed to have taken on an extra taste either by way of coincidence, new recipe or -most likely- my awareness of the need to savour. And then, to make it really count, a packet of vanilla wafer and a bottle of diet coke. Even to me it felt a bit excessive, like the (mini)binge before the (slow and gradual)purge.

Lingering in the busy hum of the shop, nursing a mysterious back injury, I started to think about what not just how I'm doing this, but why.
And that, takes a lot more explaining...

...Which will come tomorrow, Inshallah.